Expectations and Trust

“...you will conceive and bear a son…

call his name Jesus.

He will be great

& will be called the Son of the Most High.

The Lord God

will give to him the throne of his father David,

& he will reign over the house of Jacob forever,

& of his kingdom there will be no end….

The child to be born will be called holy--the Son of God.” (Lk. 1)

This is what You told Mary to start with. This was how her story started. These were the expectations that You set. This happened before all the shame, before Joseph and the turmoil of the engagement being threatened, before the Roman politics and the tax census. This happened before Simeon’s terrifying and cryptic words, before the visit of the Magi, the horrifying actions of Herod, and the escape to Egypt. This happened before Mary's life was completely disrupted, turned upside-down, destroyed.

You sent an angel to a young woman with a message full of wonder and promise and presence. And she believed it.

And, God, from where we stand, it all went downhill from there. Why You do ‘dis?

Also from our perspective: things often go this way, and at the end of the path of an obedience that began with hope and light and certainty, we, like Mary, find ourselves standing at the foot of a cross, heartbroken. Looking up at the bloody, mangled remains of the gift that came to us with such promise and hope. What is this awfulness? No wonder we feel like fools when You ask us to hold onto faith and hope for a Resurrection. But where else can we go?

“Behold, I am the servant of the Lord. Let it be to me like you have said.”

So...please...heal our cynicism and skepticism. Our hard-heartedness.

God, we have hurt often and long and hard at how Your words and promises come true in real life. Apparently our expectations are usually wrong and Your purposes are inscrutable (You actually told us that ahead of time). We often feel like there’s a terrible bait-and-switch going on, and like we can’t take Your words at face value (but we’re afraid that we’re going to be punished if we don’t--cue the Zechariah story: “you’ll be mute because you didn’t believe my words that will be fulfilled in their time”). It’s hard for us to believe that You will end things in a way that is “better than we could ask or think,” since things regularly go worse than we expected/hoped (based, we thought, on things You had said). We feel our smallness and our inadequacy in understanding and interpreting the things You say to us.

The more this happens, the more suspicious we become of angels and angel visits and angel messages and anything else that seems too good to be true, too full of goodness and joy. Suspicious of You and Your trustworthiness.

I guess I don’t think You blame us, though. You actually understand. You know that faith is a tall order. That’s why You value it so much. You like to be trusted, because You know just how confusing and hard things can get from our side of the coin.

So help us to trust You. May the Spirit fill us again today and convince us that You do love us. Give us the willingness and ability to trust You. We actually do love You. You loved us, and You planted love for You in our hearts. No matter how much we struggle, we actually do love You and want You. So breathe life back into our faith today.

And when we are confused or hurt or afraid or cynical or angry, come down and be near to us: be our Jesus who saves his people from their sins and is our God with us.

“We will trust in You.”

^^^This miracle brought to us by the Spirit of the Holy One who overshadows us and places life within us. Just like he did in Mary.

*written 11/8/18

Image by Free Photos from Pixabay

A Prayer in Dark Times

Psalm 66

For You, O God, have tested us;

You have tried us as silver is tried.

You brought us into the net;

You laid a crushing burden on our backs;

You let men ride over our heads;

we went through fire and through water....

There are places that none of us would choose for ourselves;

yet God chooses them for us at times. 

This prayer is from one of those times and those places.

These days are so long and painful. The hours drag. Even the minutes do. I want to quit. I want out. But You’re not going to let me out, are You? And that’s good of You. I believe that. But there’s no end in sight to all of the hardest things. I can’t keep doing this. And You’re just progressively upping the ante. It’s getting harder and more expensive. You’re playing to win big. I want to tell You that You’ve chosen the wrong teammate. But I know You’ve already won – the victory is not dependent on Your “teammates.” I want to tell You that I don’t care to play, that I’ll just pass until it’s game over, but I know that You want me to play with You. You’re not forcing me to play; You’re inviting me to be with You. You don’t force Yourself on us; that’s not how You work. You actually love us and want us to be with You (and who can resist being actually wanted by You?). I want to tell You that it’s too much, that I can’t bear up under this crushing load. But You give strength for what You put on us. But it doesn’t feel that way. It feels crushing. And sometimes You do crush people. You crushed Your Son, and it brought salvation for the world. What will You bring through my crushing? How will You bring salvation and for whom? Will You intervene in answer to my prayers for my people? I hurt. I want to scream or to cry. But I can’t do either. There’s no outlet for the pain. Just the silent imploding inside…and the darkness. You’ve been there too. I know. So You’re not afraid of it, and You’re not going to abandon me to it. You’ve been through it and have come out the other side. And somehow when You walked through all this, You tapped into the joy that was waiting on the other side. I’m afraid of wanting to want joy. I’m afraid of joy. I’m afraid it would break me. Like pouring warm water on a frozen windshield – that I would shatter. But You didn’t. You were going through the absolute worst, and You kept Your eyes on joy, and it helped You endure. Help me open my eyes and look through the darkness toward the light. And in this suffering, give me Yourself. 

And at the risk of being trite at the end of a serious post, I'll share this bit of humor from a sign in a local coffee shop restroom. The final line seemed very appropriate on the particular day that I read it. He knows how to provoke a smile even in the dark times. 

"No One has Ever Seen God"

"No one has ever seen God."

This phrase appears twice in John's writings: a simple statement of fact.

There's an obvious reality that God is spirit, and we cannot see Him. We who believe in God do so by faith and, like it says in Hebrews 11, live "as seeing Him who is invisible."

Towards the beginning of his gospel, however, John points out that there is an exception to the whole not seeing God thing. He writes, "No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father's side, he has made him known" (Jn 1:18).

Here's the exception: although no one has seen the Father, the Son came and revealed Him. To see Jesus is to see God. Those who look on Jesus see "the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ" (2 Cor. 4). For 33 years, God walked the earth, and people saw His face. This is a beautiful and deep truth, but if you believe what the Bible says about Jesus being God, then at some level, it's still a reasonable/understandable concept.

Later in his life, though, John writes a couple of letters, and in his first letter, he brings up the subject of seeing God again. "No one has ever seen God;" he says, but "if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us" (1 Jn 4:12).

Wait. What?

The first time that we read "no one has ever seen God," we are reminded that Jesus is an exception to that.

The second time that we read "no one has ever seen God," we are told that love among believers is an exception to that.

Don't miss the weight and profoundness of this!

(In fact, if you have any questions about what John is implying here, go back and read the larger contexts in which these two texts appear. The contexts totally support the intentional parallel of Christ bringing the fullness and knowledge of God to us, our receiving it, and then our being enabled to pass it along.)

In my church, we've been studying about Heaven during our morning services (highly recommend the series!). So as I've been thinking about this phrase from John's writings, it's mingled with thoughts about Heaven, and here's one of my main takeaways:

In Heaven, we will see the face of God. But today, others can see the face of God in the mutual love of believers. Others will recognize the face of God from seeing His love being given and received among His people. So, when I love my brothers and sisters like God does, I, like Jesus, am letting people see God, and I can do so now in a way that will not be mine to do (at least in the same way) in eternity.

God, please let it be that I and my brothers and sisters would so "keep ourselves in the love of God," that we live it out incessantly in ways that make You known/visible in our relationships with each other today. We believe You to be the Most Beautiful and Winsome of Beings, and we want You to be known and loved. We are amazed to think that anyone could catch a glimpse of Your face in us; it's the greatest honor we could ever have. (Like, the more I think about it, the more mind-blowing it is.) Let our gratitude and gladness find full expression today. In others words, let me and my brothers and sisters love each other so thoroughly today that someone gets to see Your face in ours. That would be more amazing than we could put into words. And give us faith to believe that You actually intend to reveal Yourself to others through us!

Oasis

From the time I was 13 years old, Psalm 119 has been an oasis for my soul. I remember the first time I read it: riding in our family van on a weekend roadtrip, my large-print child's Bible spread out on my lap. 

I couldn't believe how much the person who was writing the psalm loved the words of God. I didn't know you could love the words of God like that. But the psalmist showed me that you could. And through the work of the Spirit, the psalmist's love for God and His Word ignited mine, and I began to love the Bible and devote myself to it. I memorized Psalm 119 a few months later.

In the years since then, Psalm 119 has never been far from my heart. It's one of my most listened-to tracks in my playlist. I've turned to it when I'm full of delight in God and looking for words to express my gladness and worship. I've spread it open before God when I'm mute with weariness or grief and needed words for my mourning. I've dragged my soul to its pages kicking and screaming in rebellion, dry and cracked with thirst, shell-shocked from the fight with sin, and sullen with indifference. And I have found life in its words. 

Tonight was no different. My soul was dull, spent from a full day of people and half a dozen to-dos still tugging at me. But when I walked in the door of my house, I felt the inexorable pull of Psalm 119. Life. Water. Repentance. Hope. Communion. Petition. Longing. The words of life beckoned. 

God invited me to come drink.

Notebook paper, pencil, open Bible.

Oasis.

And slowly my soul revived.

Sandra McCracken has an album on the Psalms, and her Psalm 119 song is titled "Flourishing." My good friend Sallie shared the song with me about three weeks ago, and I've listened to it nearly every day since then. I hope you'll listen to it...and that you'll go spread your roots into oasis of Psalm 119 and be filled with its life-giving water. 

P.S. More to come on the topic of "flourishing."

What's Your Identity?

I read and listened to Hebrews several times this week. One of the times going through it, I made a list of how believers are described throughout the book. Take a look:

-        those who are to inherit salvation

-        those who are sanctified ("...for both He who sanctifies and those who are being sanctified all have one Source..." - see how closely He identifies with us!)

-        brothers ("...He is not ashamed to call them 'brothers'.")

-        the offspring of Abraham (Love the context of this one: "for surely it is not angels that He helps; He helps the offspring of Abraham." Human beings. He especially cares for human beings.)

-        you who share in a heavenly calling

-        His house

-        those who listened/we who have believed

-        all who obey Him

-        those who through faith and patience inherit the promises

-        those who draw near to God through Him ("He is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them." The faithful love of Jesus for us is this strong and this good!)

-        those who are called

-        those who are eagerly waiting for Him 

-        those who are being sanctified ("...by a single sacrifice, He has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." Doesn't that put courage back into your heart?!)

-        My righteous one

-        those who have faith and preserve their souls

-        the firstborn who are enrolled in Heaven

I was blown away. Incredible. I don't really think of myself in all these terms, but these are God-given statements about our identity and hope. If you are a child of God, this is already who you are. This is the character of everyone who belongs to God (whether they are maturely reflecting it at the moment or not). Brothers and sisters, by the grace of God, choose to believe this and to step into this - your true identity - today in the face of your own thoughts and feelings, which may be communicating very opposite things to you. Take God at His word and open your heart to Him. He is the unchangeable God, and it is impossible for Him to lie (Heb.6). He means all of these things that He says about us: this is who we are.

And, reader, if the burdens and darkness of life are heavy now and you doubt about His willingness and ability to be and do these things in or for you personally, hurting friend, please read through Hebrews yourself. Look for what it says about the nature and ways of God. You will find a gentle, faithful God who has provided a perfect, sympathetic High Priest and who sits on a throne of grace offering mercy and help. I had to make a list of that too. And together "let us draw near" to this God.

"Now may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the Great Shepherd of the sheep, but the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen." (Heb.13:20)

Peace

Peace

Peace is what happens when the burden of life is borne by someone greater than us, so that, although we are small, we are sure of being cared for. Like being under a truly good, benevolent government. "Of the increase of His government and of peace there will be no end." Peace happens when everything shifts into perspective in relation to You, remembering that You are in control and that You are full of love and grace, very strong, and for us. The heaviness may not go away, but it doesn't crush in quite the same way because we realize that You take complete responsibility for the world and for our lives and that we are precious to you. We can rest because everything is being taken care of. This is peace for tortured minds and hurting hearts. We don't have to figure it out. We don't have to manufacture the strength to make it through all by ourselves. We don't have to perform to get Your attention. You are already present, already gracious, already strong, already good, already in control, and already at work to bring about Your wise purposes. In the end, You have promised that the whole world will experience peace. Until then, let the lives of Your children be filled with peace and act as signposts pointing to You, the Prince of Peace. Teach us to enter into Your rest and peace, to take full advantage of it. You are the God of peace: i.e., You know who You are and what exactly it is that You are doing, and You are pleased with that. You invite us to share in Your peace by faith, putting our trust in You and Your constant, caring control. Help us accept Your invitation, aka, give us peace. 

(This post is #6 of 6 personal meditations on God's names and character. Here are the links to Great Physician, Inscrutable, Immanuel, Steadfast and Grace.)

Steadfast in Love

Steadfast in Love

Steadfast in Your love. Covenant faithfulness. Sworn loyalty. Not subject to circumstance or whim. Unrelenting care. We human beings are so fickle. We don't have a natural metric for steadfastness, and it's hard for us to register the implications of Your being the God of steadfast love: the sheer goodness and safety and security of it. But this is who You are and You treat Your people with steadfast love. We will never experience cruelty, neglect, manipulation, injustice, coldness, stereotyping, impatience, betrayal, lies, or unkindness at Your hands. "All the paths of I Am are steadfast love and faithfulness." Thank You. As I experience Your love, cause me to know and to trust it. Let me in turn be steadied and secured by it. You are for me: now and forever. Nothing can change that: it is a steadfast, unshakable, unchangeable reality. It is as sure as Your own existence and power. 

(This post is #4 of 6 personal meditations on God's names and character. Here are the links to Great Physician, Inscrutable, and Immanuel.)

Inscrutable Ways

Inscrutable Ways

You do so many many things that leave us wondering. We don't understand Your actions; they baffle us. And we hurt. But You are God: the infinite, glorious, almighty, good God. And of course we, with our finite and darkened minds, can't understand You. Forgive me for resenting and resisting Your inscrutable ways. You told us from the beginning that You are inscrutable and Your ways are beyond our ability to sort out. And You said from the outset that Your people live by faith and that faith is what allows us to draw near to You. Ah, Lord, I humble myself under Your mighty hand. "Lord, I am willing to receive what You give, to lack what You withhold, to relinquish what You take, to suffer what You inflict, to be what You desire." I don't need to understand, but I can, and by Your grace I will, trust. 

(This is #2 of several brief meditations on God's titles and character. Here's the first one, if you missed it and you're interested.)

The Inscrutable Ways of God: Samson's story, Part 2

A couple of weeks ago, we took a look at themes that show up in the early part of Samson's story. Today's post continues Samson's story, mostly from Judges 14.

Everyday life under Philistine oppression proceeded for Israel and for Manoah’s family until Samson got to marriageable age...and promptly fell for a Philistine girl. No bueno. God had told His people that they weren’t supposed to marry foreigners, and Samson’s parents tried to encourage him to find an Israelite girl to marry, but Samson wasn’t interested. He told his dad, “Get her for me, because she is right in my eyes.”

If you’ve been reading Judges, hearing that phrase coming from Samson should pull you up short. I mean, as you read the book, there’s been this recurring theme of “there was no king in Israel, and everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” Throughout Judges, God has been indicating that the main source of trouble in the land was the independent, law-ignoring, I-do-things-my-way spirit among God’s people that led them away from God and into all kinds of evil. And suddenly, the sentiment comes straight from the mouth of the young man that God has promised was going to begin to deliver Israel. It’s rather disillusioning to find out that the promised deliverer has actually embraced the lawless attitude of his culture. Keep reading, though. What comes next is fascinating.

 

“Samson said to his father, ‘Get her for me, for she is right in my eyes.’ His father and mother did not know that it was from the Lord, for He was seeking an opportunity against the Philistines.”  

What?

Blink twice.

And then keep on reading.

“Samson went down to Timnah...a young lion came toward him roaring….The Spirit of the Lord rushed upon him, and although he had nothing in his hand, he tore the lion in pieces….Then he went down and talked with the woman, and she was right in Samson’s eyes.”

Samson takes a trip to see the girl he’s interested in, gets attacked by a lion, experiences supernatural strengthening by the Spirit of God, kills the the lion with his bare hands, and continues on down to the girl’s town. And the text reiterates: “she was right in Samson’s eyes.” God is definitely making a point here.

What is He communicating to us?

I’m sure that this is not a comprehensive answer, but as I’ve meditated on this passage and others from the book of Judges (similar motifs/sin/failures show up in the lives of the other judges - the deliverers that God raised up for His people), here are some thoughts that have been an encouragement to me:

1. God gives an honest portrayal of the human reality that we are all affected by the culture and times that we live in. Every human being gets marked by the date/time stamp of his environment. We all bear some of the earmarks of our culture, and not even the godliest of us escapes being tainted by attitudes and thought patterns that, viewed from God’s perspective, are corrupt and rebellious.
   
2. God’s sovereign purposes continue unhindered. Samson’s disobedience to the law of God and his contamination by the spirit of his culture didn’t “ruin” God’s plan for Samson’s life. God actually worked His plan for His people out right in the middle of mess.
   
3. God uses flawed servants. God has only ever had one perfect Servant. His name was Jesus, and He was the one-of-a-kind Son of God who lived out complete obedience to the will of God. All of the rest of God’s servants are flawed, and God demonstrates His power, grace, glory, and humility by working in and through broken, sinful people.
   
4. God’s ways are inscrutable. Samson is traveling to a Philistine town to pursue something that God has forbidden. Instead of allowing him to be eaten by the lion, God the Spirit empowers him to kill the lion bare-handed (all the while knowing that, in a couple of weeks, Samson would also break part of his Nazirite vow by touching the lion’s dead body). (Also, God is very patient.)

What does this mean for us?

Well...do you find yourself frustrated by your own sin and failure? Have you discovered shards of your culture’s lies and rebellion against God imbedded deeply in your own thought patterns? Does the tension between God’s sovereignty and the existence of evil ever unsettle you? Do God’s perplexing actions and complex patterns of light and darkness wreak havoc on your sense of justice, logic, and the way things “should be”?

Child of God, life in a broken world is hard. Isn’t it? The Bible reminds us that things have always been this way. And for millennia, God has navigated His people through these troubled and troubling waters and given us Himself and His truth to help us chart a steady course. Draw encouragement from Samson’s turbulent life and the truth about God’s character and ways that shine so brightly in the middle of it all. This God is our God, and He will hold us fast.